Wednesday, December 23, 2009

We bear our souls and tell the most appalling secrets.

"Jo. Such a little name for... such a person. "

"Oh, Jo. Jo, you have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to lead an ordinary life? You're ready to go out and - and find a good use for your talent. Tho' I don't know what I shall do without my Jo. Go, and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things come of it. "

I am watching Little Women right now. I used to watch this movie about once a week for what feels like years. I used to make Micah watch it with me, over and over, on our lunch breaks from school. I've read the book more than any other. I think it's 4 times now. I am so deeply connected to the characters. Growing up, I WAS Jo March. When I read the chapter, you know the one, that breaks you in half with its sorrow-- I would cry every time. I started writing with calligraphy pens and feather pens to feel more "authentic" in my Josephine channeling. "I don't think I could be like Marmee. I rather crave violence." Laurie was my dream. That book influenced me to the point that if I fell down or made a mistake I would call out, "Christopher Columbus!"

I had my own version of the Pickwick Papers. I wrote all the articles and found all the art and illustrations to match. I wrote poetry, short stories, quotes/excerpts from books I loved, movie reviews, wrote advise columns, had reader interviews, had panel discussions, and printed, bound, and paid for the copies with my allowance money. My mom would drive me to the printers each month and help me. It was over 20-25 pages (double sided) thick. I promoted myself in local and similarly ran homespun publishing. Within a year of printing this little magazine, I had over 30 subscribers, some international. I was a born editor. I finally had to stop it because the cost became more than I could afford and I received donations, but I didn't charge for a subscription so funds eventually dwindled. I did it for over 4 years. It was heaven to me.

Anyway. I just love Little Women a whole lot. You should watch it. It's the perfect beginning to the eve of my birthday. It makes me feel warm and Christmas-y.

"I want to stand up to the lions of injustice. I want to do something different.
I don't know what it is yet, but I'm on the watch for it."

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