Stuck in a rut. (?)

Warning: this post is going to be really boring.

For being so young, I am pretty set in my ways. Pretty predictable and pretty much 77 years old already. I am undoubtedly a home-body. Which is something I disliked about my Dad growing up because I wanted to go-go-go all the time. But once I hit the ripe old age of 22, I slowed down a lot and understood Pop's way of life a heck of a lot more. Don't get me wrong, I am still a busy person. I'm always running around and keeping active-- but once the evening commences, and my tasks are completed, there is no where I would rather be than home. I enjoy the same foods that I have for years and years. I still love mac n cheese just as much as I did when I was 7 and eat that probably more regularly than anything else. I get stuck in food ruts. California rolls, chicken curry with saag paneer and butter nan, chicken caeser salads, ranch dressing on literally everything, jalepeno chips, hummus, and diet coke (not all together). I get stuck in movie ruts. I love period drama's, anything Jane Austen, anything British/French history, WWII documentaries, any documentaries, African films, Russian films, and watching Sex and the City episodes til my eye pop out. I get stuck in clothing ruts. Heck, I've been in a clothing rut since I saw "Breakfast at Tiffany's" when I was 9 and decided everything I wore had to be either black or white or grey. Classic and simple. Let us immulate Audrey for die! But seriously, I own more black than should be allowed. I don't feel comfortable in color. I buy jewelry, but never wear anything but my Nanaw's Worlds Fair spoon ring, my puzzle piece necklace, and pearl earrings. Sometimes I'll chanel Edie Edgewick and wear big flashy earrings. That's about as crazy as it gets.

I like what I like and I don't branch out too often. Well I take that back. I will branch out-- if it catches my eye. I am a born student, so I am always studying, learning, researching new things/people/countries. But you will probably never find me in the sports section of Barnes and Noble, "just for fun".

I am not sure if these patterns and habits are bad or not. I'm not sure if they represent stability, or if it just means I am "wasting" my youth.

Actually, I can answer that already.

I am not wasting anything. Just because I would rather stay home and watch I Love Lucy, read Sylvia Plath, and clean-- doesn't mean I'm somehow squandering those "days of wildness" associated with being young. Most people's regrets and infamous "that one night" stories come from their 20's. And let's be honest, not everyone is completely buying the "time of our lives" shtick. Yes, I go out dancing and have a freakin' blast. I dance like a 80's music video reject maniac and it can be embarassing if you're not prepared. But the idea of "living up" my twenties with a series of club entry fees and hangovers, lost its appeal quite some time ago. I had 1 rough year about 4 years ago, when I did go out pretty frequently and I drank way too much (for my health, that is) --but all that year left me with was avoided issues and a feeling of emptiness unlike I had ever known. This is not to say people who party are somehow "less than me" or ridiculous. It's just a difference of style. My style is dinosaur dance-fights with Shai and late night reading with wine and a journal.

And my style suits me perfectly.

An average night, with a friend. In a bathroom. Dressed up. Posing.
It's better than a party.

An average day. With Shai. Being weird. And posing again.
It's better than anything.