Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A blood diamond is forever.

Sparked by the illegal trafficking of diamonds, Sierra Leone’s civil war left thousands dead, millions more homeless, and much of the nation in complete disarray.  But it was all worth it for the look on Rachel’s face when Craig showed her that ring.

One of the worst tragedies in recent history, the war in Sierra Leone saw innocent men murdered in cold blood, and women defiled by rebel forces in front of their children, who were then taken as child soldiers for the extremely affluent army.  However, things could have been a lot worse.  For instance, Michael may never have found the perfect way to express his love for Katie.

As terrifying as the war was for the citizens of Sierra Leone, many have recently found solace in knowing that their suffering wasn’t in vain, and that Peter finally got down on one knee and proposed to Michelle like he had promised.

In fact, villagers in the town of Moyamba would likely never have wept at the sight of their burning homes had they known Tom had at last asked for Jenny’s hand in marriage, and that the two had set a date for the big day.

Well, maybe they would have—out of joy.  Today, while it’s difficult to predict what the long-term effects of Sierra Leone’s campaign of torture and brutality will ultimately be, relatives of Chuck and Linda are almost positive it’s a boy.

This year give her the gift that says, “fuck Sierra Leone”.

-Our Dumb World, the Onion