A choice is a funny thing. A terrible thing. A necessary thing. Choices define our entire lives. Simple truths. But reality is striking me harder now than ever before.

The fragile, tiny tear. That brought down the sky.

We chose who we are. What we do. What we are. The cause and effect play the major roles, the emotions play the minor. Because emotions fade. They are not strong enough to withstand years. “Hearts don’t beat the way they used to”. Hands can’t feel from the callous. It’s the choices that we learn to live with, want to live with, or know in the end, are the right ones.

Timing.

It’s all in the timing. And so often time is wrong. “Time is a strange pulse that beats to cover and stops to reveal.” The looking back. The trying to look forward. Looking through eyes that see so clearly now they burn. Mistakes and regrets. Thought only so after it’s too late.

I guess it’s the stages of processing. Letting life stall and stop and being again….

And it only takes a second. Just a few words. I could feel my heart fall.

I regret nothing in my life. Not yet. I don’t plan on ever. But the feelings that so long I have kept hidden. Covered in a corner. Drowned in the noise of everything else. They surface eventually. It’s inevitable. And when they rise, it’s a terrible thing.

And I can feel the knife sliding
Deeper in my spine
I can hear your words rewinding
Balancing on this edge of mine.