"I love the way you lie."

After watching the new music video from Eminem featuring Rihanna, and its blatant equation of violence with passion, I am literally sick to my stomach.

The video is intentionally artistic and obviously fueled with what the mass populace would consider “star power”. This trash was made to gather as large of an audience as possible. But I need to let you know, other than Rihanna’s amazing hair, there is nothing remotely redeemable about this music video.

As someone who was in a relationship that mirrored a lot of the unhealthy bullshit portrayed in the video, I am enraged that this type of "intensity" is being marketed in a glamorized light to anyone. Now, personally, I acknowledge my proliferation of the awful I was stuck in because I wouldn't back down, yet I wouldn't completely walk away either. I’ve never been a doormat, but I have been in a position where I was weakened by life and situations outside of the relationship which had unfortunately made me too overwhelmed and lost to do what I knew I had to. I've definitely never made out with anyone after they punched the wall/mirror/whatever is closest, but I have been next to the slamming fist. I've never been turned on by sincere, negative aggression, but I have been the target for it, then forgiven far too quickly. I have wasted myself on the projection of what someone will never be.

The idea of violence of any kind being matched with something even remotely positive is the worst kind of stupidity. I know that kind of stupidity. I know how it feels to equate love with pain. I know what it feels like to deeply love someone who is mentally and emotionally abusive. I know what it feels like to be a strong feminist (even in the midst of the fury and heartache of a bad relationship), and finally wake the hell up, only to realize the basis of your companionship is the epitome of everything you know it shouldn’t be-- but loyalty and conditioning make it unbearably hard to leave. However the reality is, you have to leave and you can’t just “stand there and watch yourself burn”. It's not okay to allow yourself or the person you are with to scream, grab, hit, threaten, or be in any sort situation that engenders fear. True passion is not hurtful. Love is not agony. It's not cute to stylize something so deeply serious. If you're in a volatile relationship, it will end. It can end now or it can end 5 years from now with regret and an atrophied life, when you've finally realized your worth and grown a spine that will walk you out the door. You'd think this would be basic knowledge by now. Apparently it's not.

But hey, it’s like really artsy and pretty when we point at nothing in the sunset and trace each other’s faces with hands we used to strike each other just moments before, right?

Also, am I the only one that is unhinged by Merry Brandybuck sucking Megan Fox’s far too collagen enhanced upper lip off ? All I could think about the whole time was him dancing a jig with Pippin on some rustic table while Aragon laughed bemusedly at their Hobbit antics.

Rihanna’s repeated snarling and insane cleavage just tops the whole thing off. It’s as if she is asking for opinions like mine to be written. And I’m not even going to touch the, “Chris Brown beat the fuck out of you and your battered face was all across newsstands for months” inevitable correlation of the video and its message with her personal plight. I feel at this point it would be trite. And Sadie from Tigerbeatdown has done a fine job already in this article: http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/08/12/i-hate-i-love-the-way-you-lie/

I think the final straw for me was the, "Here, baby, I’m going to give you this teddy bear with a two-toned carnation while you sit hunched over and holding yourself in the hallway, presumably because I was such a colossal bastard the night before. Oh, yeah, and Eminem’s going to sing in a wife-beater (pun intended) in a 'Field of Gold' while I try to make it up to you. Convinced?"

I’m not either.