“I have reached the limits of endurance. My back is to the wall; I can retreat no further. As far as history goes I am dead. If there is something beyond I shall have to bounce back. I have found God, but he is insufficient. I am only spiritually dead. Physically I am alive. Morally I am free. The world which I have departed is a menagerie. The dawn is breaking on a new world, a jungle world in which lean spirits roam with sharp claws. If a am a hyena I am a lean and hungry one: I go forth to fatten myself.”
I've got really into Henry Miller lately. He is vile and I hate him-- yet I see through his machismo, as so many readers have, and have glimpsed his breaking, excruciatingly beautiful heart. And it is one of a kind.
There are gems among the coal.