Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"I do not wish to expiate, I wish to live."

That Emerson quote has been my life motto for over 10 years. It's always served me well and I can honestly say, I wouldn't trade any experience life has given me for any other.

However, when the cracking starts and I start to feel actual fear, I struggle with this demon more than I consciously realize. It's lodged deep in the corridors of my psyche and though I genuinely have conquered it in most regards, it peers at me when I am at my weakest. I hate its face and I refuse to let it have its way. I will fight my so-called "regrets", over and over, until their ashes are all that's left. Because they actually aren't regrets- they just feel like they are. And as we all know, unfounded feelings are terribly annoying things.

I guess this is my public reminder of my private battle.

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